scarycarrey (scarycarrey) wrote,
scarycarrey
scarycarrey

Let me clear the AIR.

Ok, A) I am NOT crazy. Crazy people play with their own feces *wiggles fingers* and wear funny dresses that show their ass all day. They also take medication. And like Connect-Four.

B) Renee didn't dump ME. Ok? She did NOT DUMP ME! NO ONE DUMPS JIM CARREY. Except the other women I dated who aren't as famous. But Renee? She always looked like she was sucking on a lemon and, albeit HOT when the time was right...it was a little frightening most of the time. END.

C) and FOURTH OF ALL...I AM NOT TYPE CAST IN MOVIES. Let me break it down for you.

*spins around*
*stomps towards a chalk board with a list of all characters I've played written on it*

I wonder where this chalk board came from...hmmm...
*extends metal pointing stick for visual effect soon to come*

We have "Ace Ventura". *points violently at the word 'ACE'* The best movie of all time. Here is a man who loves animals and has the SWEEETEST pompadour that is held together by the hopes and dreams of angels. He is also a crime fighter and is clearly colorblind.

Now we have "Dumb and Dumber" *points even MORE violently at the board* The best movie of all time! A man who has a chipped tooth, a stupid friend, a headless pet bird, and EXCELLENT taste in clothing. He is also a murderer, because he killed that one guy with those pills. This shows my *makes air quotes* DARK SIDE.

EXHIBIT 46!!!! *points to 'Truman Show'* The best movie of ALL TIME!! A man who is completely normal in every way, except that his whole entire life is a LIE.

*throws pointer across room*
*arches back*
*lifts one leg high in the air*
*stomps back to chair*
*touches fingers together under chin*

Now...how are those characters similar? HOW? Oh, what's that? *cups ear, strains neck* YOU HAVE NOTHING TO SAY???!?!?!?!?!

*smug giggle*

I think we're done here.
  • Post a new comment

    Error

    Comments allowed for friends only

    Anonymous comments are disabled in this journal

    default userpic
  • 69 comments